I can’t think of anything but my happy memories while at UPV. Because how could happiness be overlapped by sad memories if one wants to remember something to the fullest?
I took the UPCAT, saying to myself that I will do all things for me to graduate in this “State University” with the hopes of finishing my preferred course in four years. I dreamed of graduating during March or April of 2012 bearing the sablay, proud to have a Business Degree. But I desired to change. I shifted to BS Biology in the same University but on a different campus. I had to leave the city to seek Honor and Excellence at Miagao, Iloilo.
I embraced the life of an Iskolar ng Bayan at Miagao, now dreaming of becoming a Doctor of Medicine in more or less nine years. I was relaxed to the fullest, never thinking that something might happen. I fell and failed. I think I was too lax to be true to myself.
Still, I wanted to continue. With my convincing skills (and the reality of my need), I persuaded the higher offices to allow me with the course. I continued with pride that I still stood up even after my chin brushed the wet ground. I looked up to myself that I am a doer of many things, that I am a talented one, that I am a real-life Daniel Larusso. But wait, does Daniel have asthma? Is he fat? Does he have myopic eyes? I doubt even Ralph Macchio has any of these disorders.
I am asthmatic, and my family is a poor one. It just so happened that my mother works for the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Even just with these points, one can see I am not worthy of being a student of my country’s “State University” according to the standard she dictates.
I am leaving but not quitting my chase after excellence. I may not be good enough for the “State University” that aspires to privatization. I do not leave bad words and thoughts towards my beloved University. It’s just that I feel to be less worthy of new things that spring up. Isa pa, pasaho-saho lang gid man ni guro.
How could I not love Oble‘s sample of what I should be? How could I not love the parrot’s (eagle according to the UP Brand Book 2007 by the UP System Information Office) freedom? How could I not adore the color of my blood represented in contrast with nature? Alas, as Albus Dumbledore starts it, my race for a sablay ends here. I may or may not have one in the future. At least I’m not expecting it, na.
I have not been successful academically during my stay at the University. This may be ironic considering her greatness. The Academe may be the reason why I do not receive the honor. But I can feel excellence seep through my veins. As an idiot once said, (paraphrase) “Search for excellence, and success will follow you through.”
I am forever grateful to God that I was given a chance to be an Iskolar ng Bayan. But it is time for someone more worthy to take over my slot. I am not sad. I know I’ll help a great deal of dream-realization of many others. I hope they could recognize me one day.
Oh Lord, You’re too magnificent. Why do I fail if I do things my way? Yeah, You’re the One who truly rocks. I’ll forever cling on to Your way.
As for me, I’ll be in pursuit of Service, Harmony, and Excellence. Hopefully. So help me, God.
reeding ridding redding writhing reading! 🙂